23-42-17-9
by bibliophilechild
Summary: This is day one.
1. This is Day One

You were always so out of the ordinary and kind. _They _spoke horror stories of how malicious you were, but from my porch you never gave me that impression. We would always wave to each other when you went to the lobby. I would sit on my stoop listening to my audio player bobbing my head along as I read avoiding going inside for as long as I could. You would stare at me more often than not causing my cheeks to flare. The first couple of times I would scoot to the farthest corner to hide my mortification. After a while though, I no longer worried.

It was all fine until we spoke.

You found me heading out and grabbed my shoulder harder than you should have. I stopped waiting to see what you wanted. That was my mistake. You told to come into your apartment. You wanted to show me something. I can't actually recall what it was you said. I just remember thinking you were my neighbor and seemed safe. I followed you.

I followed you like a fucking fool.

I didn't even like you. Not like that at least. You were just some guy who I knew on a waving basis.

You had smooth hands. I remember thinking they were nicer than mine because I worked with my hands a good bit of the time. We went into the apartment and moved to your bedroom. You undid a combination lock which I thought was weird to have on one's door. Without warning, you shove me in slamming the door shut. I fall to the ground crawling back on my hands becoming conscious the horrible mistake I had made. You jerk me up by my hair and sling me to your bed pouncing on my now trembling body.

I asked why a lot. So much so you slapped me and told me to shut my sodding rot. Your hands felt like ice as they worked off my top. My body shook as you used a knife cutting off my bra. I try in vain to cover my exposed skin, but you would have no such thing. You pinned my wrist and smiled at my bare breasts.

"What lovely groodies you have little sister." You ridiculed taking my nipple into your mouth causing me to gasp and buck under you.

Twisting under you I am able to loosen your grip enough to roll off the bed. I elbow your nose and run to the door yanking on the handle praying the lock didn't reset every time it closed. You curse at me reaching for my ankle. I jerk the handle and to my luck it opens. I slam it quickly twisting the lock to make you have to re-enter the combination.

I sprint to the door tugging on it to realize it was dead bolted and you had the key in your room.

My stomach drops. Your door slams open and I scramble attempting to come across somewhere to hide. There was nowhere and I felt the cold chill of terror travel my body. Ducking into a bedroom I slip under the bed covering my mouth.

"Come out you malenky whore!" You growl from outside. I gradually scoot farther curling into myself praying I would think of something, but there was nothing.

I was completely trapped.

"I know you're in here." You hiss kicking the bed frame. I suppress a whimper and a thought pops in my head. If I come out maybe you won't be so angry with me. It wasn't logical or even something I could explain, I just did it. Moving from under the bed I stand in front of you adverting my eyes waiting to see what you would do.

Your hand tangled in my trestles yanking me forward. I cry out in fear as you drag me back to the room.

_23- 42- 17- 9_.

I repeat the numbers to myself over and over. We enter the room again and this time when you throw me down you give a few solid kicks to my side. I retch miserably clutching my sides in agony. You reach down pulling me to my feet and throw me back on the bed. The covers had been pulled back. You had been planning this.

Then I got mad.

Really mad.

I punch you as hard as I can over and over kicking and screaming. You laughed.

You fucking laughed at me like I was a stupid girl.

Not sure when it happened, but we were both naked next time I truly focused on what was happening.

I didn't like it. I didn't like the way it felt you touched me. You wouldn't stop.

I asked you over and over why.

Why were you doing this to me?

You told me to shut my sodding rot again. I tried really hard to obey you. I guess I thought you would be gentler with me if I was really good. It was stupid, but I just needed a coping mechanism, something to make me feel like I wasn't being useless. I tried fighting. You were stronger and threatened to hurt me more.

When you forced your fingers inside me I gasped crawling back on my hands trying to get you out. I thought this was supposed to feel good. In books this was supposed to feel good.

_**Why doesn't this feel good?**_

A dark voice in the back of my head whispers:

_"Because you are being raped."_

I shake my head.

No, no those things only happen to certain girls and I wasn't one of those girls. I was a good girl. I didn't deserve this.

Why God?

Why do I deserve this?

Where is my angel?

Where is my knight?

Where is my almighty god?

I cry out in despair when your tongue touches places it shouldn't. My hips resist in fear trying to escape, but you keep them close. Your skin rubs me causing my heart to sink. You spread me open telling me to be dobby or else. I promise I will, feeling you hover above me. Closing my eyes I feel the tears run down my cheeks into my hair.

I was going to be raped.

In a few seconds the one thing a woman cherishes most was going to be ripped from me in the most violent way possible. I prayed, prayed for someone to have mercy and save me.

You plunged forward and sharp sheering pain detonates through me.

And I realized there was no one.

No hero crashing through the door saving me from you.

No moment where you saw clarity.

There was nothing.

Books are lies.

My hero doesn't exist.

All I have is evil.

This is day one….

* * *

Please review if you get a chance. Not sure where this will go in the long run. I know the ending, but can't promise my updates will be super regular.


	2. This is Day Two

**Hi...**

**Thank you for all the sweet reviews. That being said I feel the need to mention I don't go half-assed (sorry.) when writing horror. This is not a happy story. **

* * *

I didn't come like you told me to. After you finished with me yesterday you told me I was to be at your door at 6 not a minute earlier or later. You put my dress back on leaving me numb inside. I didn't respond I merely got up and waited for you to release me. I don't even remember walking to my apartment. I just went in and locked my door sinking to the floor shaking.

I considered telling them. I thought they would know what to do because they were good like that, but I couldn't get myself to do it and I still don't know why I didn't. Was it pride? Or perhaps fear? I'm not confident enough to say you didn't frighten me. You terrified me.

At some point I go to the tub. Turning on water I look into my mirror. My dress couldn't cover the internal damage you inflicted. I blink a few times accepting I couldn't change what just happened. Instead I put on a face mask and fill the tub with my strongest smelling bath scents. Discarding my dress I slip into the steaming water taking deep breaths. I scrub every inch of me. I wanted, no needed to be clean. I wanted to feel pretty again.

You made me feel so ugly and filthy.

I lather my hair in conditioner twice and shaved my legs until they were smooth. I need something to distract my hands from shaking. The razor nicks my skin causing me to wince. I decide I needed to get out before I accidentally inflicted more damage.

I rub in some sweet body oil and take another breath pulling out an over large sweater from my dresser. It felt safe. I put it on with some cream colored undergarments and collapse on my bed.

It wasn't anything like I dreamed it would be. I wanted when that happened to be perfect. I wanted to have planned what I wore. I read in books where the girl wore special clothes and felt beautiful.

You stole all of it though.

I feel the hint of anger simmer in my stomach again. I stand and check all my locks. When they were all secure I lock all the bedroom doors and curl back in my bed with the keys beside me. Closing my eyes, I ignore the stinging in between my legs and somehow sleep finds me.

The only way I know time has lapsed is because when I wake my hair was dry. I turn on my side checking my watch 6:43. My stomach lurches, I curl up against my head board feeling each tick of the clock deep in my gut. Tears leak from my eyes as I feel my body shake once more.

I stay motionless for hours.

12:27.

You know the sensation you get when you feel someone watching you? I didn't feel that. I didn't know you were in the room until your warm hand runs over my bare thigh.

I jerk up in fear, but you slam me against the mattress. Your grip digging into my bones. The pain was brutal. You slap my face and I could feel one of your rings dent my cheek.

"You've been a naughty devotchkahaven't you? Uncle Alex is going to have to give you the old in out in out real savage now." You take off your belt and pull me away from the bed. "Lean over your dresser."

I shake my head and deadweight when you try to pull me up. You growl at me jerking me up and sling me against the dresser yanking my sweater above my hips and pull my panties down. I struggle under your hand forcing my neck still pinning me to the wood.

I hear it before I feel it. A loud sickening crack as leather hits flesh. I let out a miserable yelp at the humiliating treatment. You give me another hard strike causing my knees to go weak. The bite stung like nothing I had ever felt. I had never been spanked as a child. My parents were very much against it and now I understood why. I couldn't tell what was worse the pain or shame of being bent over my dresser being beaten like a disobedient child. After you're done you throw me to the ground. I protect my head with my hands when you go to strike me.

"Don't touch me!" I screech struggling to stand. Once I gain my balance I shove you hard toward the door. You chuckle smirking as I keep pushing on your chest banging my fist against it.

Before I can comprehend it you have me on the bed tugging my sweater and panties off.

"Did you get prettied up just for me?" You mock licking down my abdomen. You kiss my inner thighs prodding. I whimper crying out.

No... I got pretty so I wouldn't feel so worthless.

I twist under your grasp scratching at your arms drawing blood. You hiss back handing my face so hard I am speechless for a moment before I knee you in the groin. You howl and hit me full force in the face.

It should come to no surprise I had never gotten into a fight. The worse fight I got into was elementary school where I tackled a boy during recess who told me girls couldn't play with the boys because I was too weak. I try to remember that strength when fighting you, but you were so strong.

My face ached and a salty metallic flavor exploded in my mouth. I gag on blood. You tie my arms to the bed post.

Why? I begin again. You ignore me and I hear you rustling out of your clothes. My vigor increases. I thrash trying to free myself as you straddle me.

"No... No. No no no no no!" I bellow as you part my legs adjusting yourself at my opening.

"Yes."

That's all you said before slamming into me. I feel my breath hitch in my throat. It didn't feel any better than the first time. Wasn't it supposed to hurt less? Your hands creep up my breast tracing your index finger in small circles as you pounded into my already sore core. The action should have been sensual, yet it made me whine. I turn my face away when you go to kiss me, but you grip my chin forcing me to face you and plant rough kisses on my neck and lips.

I shiver as you continue to thrust holding the headboard to get more leverage. The sound of our skin hitting filled the air muffling my choked sobs. I could hear the bed frame squeak in tandem with your movements. The springs in the mattress cry out from your effort I could hear them mocking:

_"Fool. Fool. Fool."_ I was a fool. Why didn't I just come when you called?

Your thrusting became faster and harder causing my head to hit the backboard. Your hands go under my hips causing you to go deeper. I gasp at the filling sensation overwhelming my senses. I groan when you kiss my pelvis ramming into me even deeper. Nothing about this was pleasurable. I hated it. Your teeth raked over my neck causing me to shudder. You moaned when I did that and bit down causing my body to clench. This was enough to send you over the edge. I close my eyes ignoring how it felt inside of me. You pull out reaching up and untying my hands. A deafening crack sounds when my palm makes contact with your face. You lift a brow at my action and my stomach clenches.

I wasn't sorry, I make to hit you again, but you grab my wrist twisting it. I tug against you, but you hold it tighter.

"Apologize." You were angry, really angry.

I stay silent refusing. You throw my wrist down and drag me off the bed onto my floor.

You rustle through my stuff looking for something I take the moment to crawl away and throw open my door trying to run. You grab my hair jerking me back down.

"Where is the lovely devotchkaittying off to?" You growl tossing me back down.

I want to start sobbing, but I don't. You say to stay put and walk out. I hear my front door open and close. I dash to the door locking it and go to the kitchen finding my biggest knife. Moving to the bathroom I lock that door and climb in the tub shaking. Closing my eyes I repeat the number sequence.

23-42-17-9

I mutter them over and over. Time passes and I am roused by the rattling of a door handle. Then a series of clicks. My front door opens.

You had a key...

I begin to hyperventilate. You move through the house and search for me. I hear you come closer and finally coming to lucky door number three.

Knocking.

You knock on the door.

"Love, are you in there? Come out now! We aren't done fillying." You rasp banging menacingly on my door. I stand walking to the door knowing you knew how to get in.

"You'll hurt me." I reason feeling stupid.

You pause and I can hear you breathing as I put my ear to the door clutching my knife.

"Come out right now or I'll drag you out myself." You yell.

My brain struggles to make rational decisions. You were going to hurt me regardless. If I waited I would anger you further, but I didn't want to obey you.

"I don't want you to hurt me again." I whisper moving far from the door holding the knife. The Knife!

The door handle jiggles as you insert the key. I had never tried to stab someone, but it couldn't be too hard right?

Wrong….

So very wrong.

You open the door and I made to move, but you catch my wrist twisting it so violently I drop it and tug on your hold. You hold me and retrieve the knife holding it to my face.

"What was the young devotchka going to do with the nasty britva eh?" You tease carrying me to my room dropping me on the ground. I see various objects placed on my bed.

"Why?" I breathe out again receiving a harsh slap in response.

You prop me on my bed holding up one of the objects and I instantly figure out what it is.

"Shall we continue?"


	3. Run

I wanted to run.

Not from you though. I mean, I knew I wasn't going to be able to run from my current situation anytime soon.

I just wanted to run in general. I love running. It was one of those things I had always been good at.

Running from my fears.

Running from people.

Running from anything I deemed too much.

Running was my best defensive mechanism and yet I knew running from you wasn't possible. It was weird, but I accepted the fact.

I pull my hair into a simple headband and tug on my favorite tight shorts and skintight long sleeve top. Running made me feel undeniably sexy and strong. I swipe on my favorite peppermint lip balm and lace my shoes. My legs and stomach were littered with bruises in various shapes and sizes. They tarnished my otherwise flawless skin.

Looking into the mirror I see the red splotch where your ring nipped my cheek. My stomach clenches remembering last night. Refusing to dwell I throw open my window climbing out to the small porch and slipped down the steps leading down. My body screams in protest, every muscle begging for me to stop.

When my feet the ground I take off. The cool air stung as it embraces my lungs. I feel my muscles give enjoying the movement knowing what I wanted them to do, the sound of my feet hitting pavement in a determined rhythm. Each bound taking farther from my room, the apartment, and you.

You called them "Lessons". When you pinned me to my bed and held up the object you asked if I knew what it was. I shook my head even though I was pretty sure I could figure it out. You smile spreading my legs twisting my skin when I tried to close them.

"So innocent lamb." You muse running the object over me. I gasped not enjoying how vulgar you actions felt.

"Each night I deem it necessary you will learn a lesson. It will make you better later."

I looked at you with despair.

"Why?"

My voice sounded meek as you pushed my shoulders down laying me flat against the bed.

I was afraid.

It seems pointless to say it any other way. I was so very afraid of you. You thrust the object into me and I am frozen too humiliated and scared to move. You move it in and out in and out slowly, but with vigor. I stay motionless holding the sheets as you continue. Your other hand strokes down my torso. You bend over and kiss down my cleavage. I shudder feeling your soft lips trail my sensitive skin. You cup my cheek still moving the device between my legs.

I am ashamed to admit it didn't hurt. It felt... Not nice exactly, but perhaps tolerable was the better word. I could stand feeling you on me this way.

You used a word I had to look up later, a word that caused my stomach to cramp when you used it.

_**"Cum"**_

You demanded and I couldn't. I didn't how. You kept at it working faster using your tongue to try to add to my pleasure, but my body refused. You grew frustrated and yanked the device out replacing it with yourself.

I sprint uphill shaking the thoughts away. I refused to let you ruin something I loved so much. You took a lot from me, but I wouldn't let you claim this.

Eventually I am joined on my run by him. He was perfect and I really liked him. He would sometimes appear beside me matching my pace and it was awesome because we didn't have to talk.

He gave me his number once. He had folded it into a simple square on old piece of notebook paper. His number scrawled on it in a green pen with a monster doodled in the corner. He passed it to me before jogging off onto a trail.

I got home and stared at it for an hour even picked up the phone to call, but in the end wasn't brave enough.

The next day when I saw him he handed me another note.

"My favorite color is green."

It continued until I finally stopped and called him over.

"My favorite color is green too."

He laughed and ever since we ran together. We still didn't even know each other's names, but it didn't matter. We were running buddies and seemed to have a relationship based off of it.

He noticed my bruises, not to mention the way I limped slightly. He halts taking my hand.

"What happened?" He noticed me flinching and wrapped his arm around my shoulder leading me to a bench. We sit with me staring at my hands and him studying the marks covering my neck, legs and cheek.

"I... I need.. Your help." I whisper tucking my hair behind my ear. He nods unzipping his hoodie and tucking it over my shoulders. It was sweaty, but had the best smell, a clean sweat that reminded me of summer.

"Of course, I'd do anything for you." He doesn't touch me.

I really liked that. You wouldn't understand because you know no boundaries, but it felt so nice to not be touched. He waited with me not forcing me to talk. I gain courage and weave my fingers into his hand. He squeezes looking to me with concern.

"I need new locks."

He doesn't question why. He simply nods and leads me to the hardware store where we buy a new lock set and a security lock for my front door. He also gets things for my windows before paying.

We walk to my apartment where I let him in locking the door back. He teaches me how to install the locks and use them he also writes down his number again.

"If you need someone call okay? Even if it's just to keep an eye on you." He does something unexpected, he kisses me.

And it felt different. Not like yours. You were rough and demanding. His lips felt chap and worn, but gentle. They barely brushed over mine and he squeezed my hand. I loved him. I always thought I did. Stupid you probably think, but I'd known him for a year now and I loved him. Somehow I knew he loved me too.

...you didn't get in today, but I know you saw him and I want you to know you won't ruin this for me. You have ruined a lot of things, but you won't ruin us. Also, I left a fake key under my basil plant on my porch. Have fun trying to get in.

**HI! Actually updating all of my writing in a timely fashion before noon? What? It's true! I am going to try to start the next chapter before I head out for the day. It's sunny and bedroom is too dark for my taste. So, um…. what else? There was something important.**

**OH, GOT IT!**

**This chapter is not in the same style as in "This is Day _" I want to use those when she and Alex are actually interacting. **

**To my lovely reviewers… THANK YOU :D**

**I love you guys like she doesn't have a name for now and she references Alex as 'you'.**

**Okay,**

**BYE**


	4. This is Day Three

You slammed me into the wall when I turn the counter of the lobby. It takes me so off guard my lungs ached as all the air leaves them. You pinned me against the wall grabbing my sex with a death grip, your hand over my mouth muffling my feeble whimpers.

"Naughty, naughty, naughty you filthy, grahzny, malenky bitch." You growled taking behind my neck and dragging me up the stairs. I cry in frustration.

"I didn't do anything!" I reason trying to avoid your brutal hold. You laugh yanking my neck roughly.

"I saw him. You think you can give yourself to anyone now?" You threw me against your door I landed hard and take the moment to run. You huffed catching the hem from my shirt jerking me backwards.

"Please, I didn't! I promise!" I beg as you pulled me into the flat pushing me to your door. I dig my feet into the floor forcing your palms on my shoulder blades. They were warm; I could feel their heat through my thin mint green top. You slung open your door shoving me into your bedroom slamming the door behind you.

"Give me your klootch." You demanded extending your hand. I stay motionless speechless. You sighed "Give me your sodding klootch you wench."

I shake my head trying to move around you. It was ballsy I must admit. Sometimes outrage found me though, like burst of energy sent from angels. The few angels that realized I was suffering and while they did not remove me from the situation completely they still did something. Do you believe in angels? I know you believe in demons because I sometimes believe you maybe one. It's a childish fantasy, but I like to hope angels are watching over people. I know it's a fantasy because no celestial being would allow someone like you to inflict so much damage on a girl like me.

"Why?" I express with a sense of distress. You seemed to be growing weary of my constant question. I was too; however, it was the only one to surface and what was worse was I knew the answer. I just refused to answer it.

"Did I sloshy correctly? Did tho just govoreet back to me?" You backhanded me causing my ears to ring. I cup my injured cheek eyes prickling with tears. "Give me your klootch or I'll get it myself." Your hand weaved into my hair jerking it back. I reach into my pocket and throw my keys across the room letting them hit your door. You lifted a brow before sitting on your bed.

"Undress."

I shake my head in disbelief, but my scalp burnt and body ached from your abuse. I wanted to be defiant again, but being defiant hurt. With great focus I force my fingers to unbutton my blouse and let it fall to the ground.

"Come closer."

I take two nervous steps forward slipping out of my skirt and shoes. My bra and panties too shear. I cover my chest feeling sick. You grabbed me by the hips pulling me into your lap.

"You've been a naughty one haven't you little lamb?"

I didn't want to fight anymore. You would win in the end wouldn't you? I nod resting on your shoulder. Your index finger trailed down my cleavage to my navel and up again. It was so personal and made my stomach get butterflies.

"How are you going to make it up for your bad behavior hmm?" You pinched my thigh. Your other hand unhooks my bra letting it fall from my skin. I curl into myself hiding. Fingers trace over my skin groping without mercy.

"Do you know how to please yourself?" You kissed my ear whispering your poison.

I shake my head covering my breasts with one arm. You took my other hand forcing it between my legs. My face burns with humiliation. You scooped me up laying me on your bed and smiled.

"Touch yourself through your neezhnies."

I sat up curling into myself further. You made an unpleased 'tsking' sound at me and before I can register what you are doing your cane strikes my back. It was light. A warning. It stung like a thousand bees and quickly made me rethink defying you. I look to you touching below hoping I was doing it right.

You grinned nodding as I continue. It felt so vulgar and didn't feel arousing at all. I look to you again nervously. How much longer did I have to do this? You raised a hand signaling I could stop. Coming to me you hooked your fingers into my panties tugging them down.

"The little lamb is going to need so many lessons isn't she?" You stroked a finger over me causing my hips to buck instinctively. How did it feel so incredibly different when you touched me? My face flushed crimson as you quickened your pace. You dipped your fingers in slow and deep smirking as my body fails me. I bite my lip refusing to make a sound. You placed something on me though. It looked a lot like the other one, but this one vibrated. My breath catches in my throat when it touches me.

I knew I didn't like it because I liked it. Does that make sense?

You pressed it harder against me which evoked an unwilling moan from my lips.

"Please, don't." I whisper writhing under your touch. You moved it slowly against me putting my hand on it and continued. You held my hand steady and watched as I tried to ignore the increase pleasure surging through me.

We continued and I felt desperate for the friction to continue, grinding against the device much to my distress. A sound distracts me and I open my eyes turning my head seeing you stroking yourself hard as you watched me. I then realize you had let go of my hand a while ago and it had been I who continued. I sit up hiding my face in my hands.

"Did I say you could stop my little lamb?" You pounced on me forcing my legs apart with your knee.

I turn my head feeling your member on me. You reached your hand down petting me nails scrapping over my sensitive skin.

"Aw, does the lamb get wet by touching herself like a filthy whore?" You teased noting the moisture between my thighs. I shake my head miserably feeling you forcing yourself into me, the sleekness from earlier easing the pain. You kissed my breast suckling on my flesh leaving deep contusions. It hurt, almost more than having you inside me. Grunting, you got rougher biting down hard. I gasp digging my nails into your arms. The whole event hurt. Everything on me felt broken. I was so exhausted and my muscles ached from being tense the entire time. I stare at the ceiling trying to distract myself from the pain, but you wouldn't have it.

"Look at me." You growled pinching my breast and twisting. I turn my attention to your blue eyes. It's funny, but I used to always think blue meant kind and compassion. Clearly, like so many other things I've found that to be a misguided perception. You lifted my hips pounding into me causing me to throw my head back digging my nails deeper into your arms. Each time our hips met I could feel them bruise. The sound of flesh slapping together filled the room with our voices an eerie harmony. My whines were hidden under your animalistic noises. Numbness consumes my body after a while and I lay limp knowing you will be done soon.

I loosen my hold on your arms letting my hands fall lifeless beside me. You forced your tongue into my mouth causing me to gag. You gave some final thrust before pulling out getting your substance over my thighs. I shudder at the feeling wanting to vomit. It burnt. It stung. It made me feel disgusting.

You got off of me and I sit up in slow motion feeling my head become heavy. You ran your hands down my back placing hot kisses down my spine.

"May I go?" I whisper covering my bruises.

You shook your head,

"What made you believe we were finished?" You take out a tissue wiping yourself clean. I ignored the stickiness in between my trembling legs. You came up to me still nude I stare at my hands too shy to look at it. You took my hand placing it on yourself.

"Time for your next lesson"

**HI…**

**WeasleyBoys: I am well aware you think of him as a villain. He is, but he will forever be on my list of favorite male fictional characters.**

**demonbarber14: I love Green Loving boy. He makes me very happy. Originally he wasn't going to make an appearance in this piece, but she seemed like she needed him. I'm glad you liked the chapter.**

**Okay, I have to go be an adult.**

**BYE**

**Hazel**


	5. This is Day Four

You wouldn't let me leave so I ended up sleeping with you. The warmth of your breath as you held my form against your chest hit the back of my neck the entire night. Its heat a constant reminder if I misbehaved I would be burned so I stayed still waiting. Every once in a while you would run your fingers through my long hair or hold me closer murmuring quiet disjointed words. I liked your hands in my hair. Strange, I know, yet the action was somehow soothing. If I pretended it wasn't you, but maybe him it was tolerable. The fabric from your underwear rubbed my bare skin. You didn't let me dress, told me to stay put. So, I did.

Was it fear that compelled me to obey? Or pride, I refused to show you were winning by not crying, not showing how scared I actually was. Yet, in the end I'm doing everything you want, so am I really winning?

There was your breath again. I felt hot condensation prickling my flesh. Your hand groped over my lower half grinding my backside against your slightly stiff organ. I stayed motionless. Hot kisses tarnish my shoulders as you began to wake. My body goes rigid at the sensation of your mouth on my limbs.

I can't even begin to describe how much the feeling frightened me. It was as if every single fiber of my being went on high alert waiting...

You nuzzled my neck suckling on it. I shut my eyes clutching your blanket with such intensity the bones in my hands popped.

"Little lamb, are you awake?" Your lips brushed over my ear pushing my hair aside. I nod, but don't open my eyes. "Would you like to cheest before we continue?"

The question takes me by surprised. It was the nicest thing you had ever offered. I nodded and gain the courage to turn and face you. I'm sure you know how beautiful you are, but you're the most beautiful boy I have ever seen. You looked really innocent which is funny considering you were far from innocent. You stared at me like I was some great mystery. Studying you so close made my stomach cramp, but I felt the need to not break the contact. We stayed watching each other. It wasn't scary like I expected. You very carefully traced your finger over my cheek with a perplex look upon your face. I bit my bottom lip shivering. You smile and kiss my forehead before pulling me out of bed with you. I reach for my dress, but you slap my hand hard. I drop my hand and cover my skin feeling too exposed. You take both of my hands as we move to a bathroom where you turn on the shower and slip off your underwear. My heart drops and I take a nervous step back reaching for the door knob.

"Come here." You reached out a hand beckoning me to come closer. I remain frozen trying to get my legs to work.

"I'm trying." I whispered still struggling fear consuming my ability to move.

You get to me in two strides and scoop me up walking us to the shower before setting me on the edge of the tub. You step in and pull me to my feet. The warm water hits my bruises causing me to wince. You held me steady and took out a sponge with soap scrubbing down my body. I tense up in fear once more. Your hands part my legs and clean the mess you left the night before. The actions bothered me, I couldn't, wouldn't trust you. I watched the suds swirl down the drain. You wrap your arms around my waist resting your chin on my shoulder and let the sponge travel over my stomach and up to my breast. I struggle to free my arms panicking when I realize you had me locked in your grip.

"Let go." I whimper feeling you spread my legs and pump your digits in me. My voice catches as you continue going faster.

"Quiet." You barked rubbing your other hand against me. I let out a sob in defeat. You press hard on my back working your mouth on my neck.

The water continued beating down on me. Something that was supposed to be able to wash away grime now made me feel filthy as I could feel my own wetness on my thighs. The water letting it run down my legs. You push me against the titled wall pinning me as you began kissing me, your tongue parting my mouth and entered with grace. I felt my knees buckle, yet you steadied my balance holding me still. The kisses were warm and soft and as you cradled my face I felt butterflies flutter in my tummy. It felt good.

I banged my fist over your chest, but the water caused them to slide off with little effect. You rolled your eyes and continue the affection causing me to squirm in fear... And need.

Turning off the water you wrap a towel around your waist and drape one over my shoulders. Pulling me to your room I stumbled trying to keep up, my wet feet slipping on the titled floor. You grew annoyed and picked me up carrying me back to your room. I tucked the fuzzy white towel around my chest and stood waiting, always waiting.

"Remove the towel and stand still." You sat on your bed watching. With shaking hands I slip off the towel folding it in thirds and sat it on the edge of your bed. I felt strange trying to look at you so I stared at the Beethoven picture instead, yet I felt even he was judging me. I focus on my feet seeing the green polish I was wearing.

"Look up little lamb. You are so beautiful."

I glance up my stomach rolling. Please god, give me strength...

You stood looking my body up and down.

"You have a choodessny nagoy body lamb." You ran your hand over my waist with a satisfied smirk. I look away feeling timid.

I have never been one for dating. It never interested me. While other girls planned their weekends down to what shade of lipstick they were going to wear I would be planning a study strategy for a test. It's not as if I didn't get offers either. My prescience was frequently desired from various guys in class. I just didn't much care to go anywhere.

On those rare times I would attend I felt restless and uncomfortable, my face always flushing when they would compliment me. In the end, I decided against dating and interacting with the opposite sex. Actually, now that I think about it I decided against interacting with most everyone.

You pushed me to the bed setting me on the edge.

"Remember our lesson last nochy, hmm?" You tuck my hair behind my ear smiling. I move my face away and nod sensing the shaking return. Stepping closer you take my hand placing it on yourself. It caused my stomach ache, but I continued stroking my hand over you just like you showed me.

You groan becoming hard in my hand. It felt strange, but seemed to keep you civil so I carried on. You swat my hands away scooting me up the bed and come between my legs. I try in vain to shut them; however a harsh slap on my inner thigh keeps them ajar.

"Pretty little lamb." You whispered thrusting into me. I gasp curling my hands around the sheets. Stroking my face you entered slower watching my face for hints of distress. I couldn't figure what you were doing, but when you pushed forward again my grip loosens. You kissed down my breast softly pausing when I released a suppressed whimper of satisfaction. You took my hands moving them above my head and held them. Your fingers intertwining with mine I closed my eyes and lay back staying quiet. The feeling of you inside me didn't hurt this time; it didn't make me cry in pain, or fight. In a way this felt more terrifying. You weren't raping me, you were actually being tender.

Your speed and force increases slightly which causes me to hide my face in my arm. Untucking my chin you looked into my eyes as you slip in and out with practiced proficiency. My face flushed when another whine leaves my mouth. You smiled and went faster. I felt my hips move to meet your own and I grip your hands.

"Dobby lamb, relax." You whispered cupping my cheek once more. I keened when you nibbled down my collar bone. I inhaled quickly arching my back grinding my hips against your own. My hands find your back holding you close and whining in need. You seem to understand and pick up your pace. I can't handle it. The feelings you brought made my breathing erratic. I moved my hips in tandem to your movement, the warm friction delicious.

Something changes. Instead of begging you to stop I started begging you to keep going. You obliged pushing harder.

I cried out, fear and pleasure mixing into an un-definable experience. Never had I felt something so powerful and... Amazing.

Wait.

No.

No, no, no, no, no..

No...

I let out shuddering breaths while you came right after.

No, please God no.

You smirk brushing my sweaty hair back. A miserable cry breaks loose from my throat as I pushed you feeling so dirty, and like a whore. Only a whore would, would... _Cum_ from you...

"I ha- hate you." I whimpered covering my breast with my hands feeling tears run into my hair.

You chuckled and lifted a brow.

"Clearly you don't little lamb." The condescending tone in your voice and wetness in between our legs made the words sting more.

I shook my head trying to get off of the bed struggling under you. Before I can process it you grabbed my wrist pinning me to the mattress.

"Do not deny it." You squeezed my wrist scowling at my tears.

"Please let me up?" I reasoned twisting my wrist. You loosen your hold and scooted off of me.

"Tell me you liked it." You hissed, "Tell Uncle Alex you enjoyed our lubbilubbing."

"And if I don't?" I challenged venom seething out of my pores.

"Then you will be a liar along with a whore."

The words seeped deep. My heart ached and tears burned my eyes because I knew.

I knew what you spoke was true.

"I liked it." I mutter in defeat.

I sat up feeling weak. Lying there, just lying there took so much energy. My muscles screamed in protest when I bent to get my clothes. You sat watching me in satisfaction. I refused to show any signs of distress though. You can beat me, rape me, and make me feel like nothing, but I will still be strong.

I have to stay strong.

This is day four.

* * *

**HI!**

**Sorry about late of updates I've been pretty sick recently and still am. Updates may get kind of weird for the rest of the month, but I promise to try super hard to keep them up to date.**

**Thanks to all my lovely reviewers. Maybe if I feel better later I will address all of your wonderful feedback, but for right now, I'm going to go curl up and be anti-social. **

**Okay,**

**BYE.**

**Hazel**


	6. Running and Falling

They started to notice. They noticed my quiet tendencies grew to where I didn't return their calls, but honestly what is there to say?

"Sorry, I missed your call I've been in hell the past week and am still trying to figure out how to proceed?"

Somehow I didn't believe it would go over well. I knew I needed to tell people. It wasn't fear or even pride stopping me. It was the idea I could handle it. Eventually you would tire of me and I could continue my life as normal. In hindsight, it was a ridiculous notion; however, at the time I was still very much a child and wanted, needed to feel as if I was in control..

I had been staring in my mirror looking pass myself seeing something else. A glimmer of hope? Or was it actually despair? I found the two seemed to be converging into a adjective I could not define. Shrugging it all away, I continue my day. Running was still my best retreat. I stepped out to run only to have my path blocked by you.

"What?" I snapped refusing to show the way my body trembled having you so near. You smirked reaching out your arm trapping me between your limbs, the heat from our bodies becoming uncomfortable. I ducked under you only to have my arm yanked.

"I do not appreciate your tone or attitude." You growl into my ear pulling me into your arms, the warmth of your breath tickling my skin. I jerk my head, but you gripped my jaw. "Come at six. Do you pony?" You hissed pinching me hard.

"Let me go." My body shook with rage and fear. Mostly fear, I had not forgotten the pervious day. Guilt surged through me along with disgust and self hatred. You twisted my flesh smiling as I winced.

"Kiss me."

I shake my head turning my head and the pressure on my breast intensified while you dig your nails in. You knew just where to pinch to make it unbearable. My eyes burnt with tears I grit my teeth grabbing your hand trying to wrench it away. You come closer to my face pinning me to the wall. I struggled placing my hands on your chest.

"Stop fighting me and do as your told." The pressure lessens and you cup my now red face. I shiver, but leaned forward placing a timid kiss on your lips. You pressed my head against the wall slipping you tongue in my mouth grinding against my hips I could feel you ready and panic fluttered in my stomach. Your hand stroked over my cheek and brushed away my tears. My voice faltered and a small whimper escaped. I felt your lips curl into a grin against my shaking ones.

The kiss lasted far too long and I slumped against the wall in defeat detaching myself from your actions. You seemed to notice though because the pain on my breast blossomed once more, your hand reaching under my top and under my bra. I opened my eyes to see you glaring into mine. You break away and motioned that I could leave. I didn't hesitate. I bolted out of your grasp.

"Six my little lamb." You reminded tapping my bottom with your cane as I left. It was light, yet still stung.

My legs carry me out the building running faster than I had in a long time. Everything blurred around me. It was so much worse when your actions were personable. A kiss should be for those in love. It should feel like his did. You seem to possess this uncanny ability to taint the things I cherish most, like love.

Tears fall from my eyes unbidden. My breathing ragged as I tried to maintain a steady pace. Stumbling I didn't notice him beside me. I am so startled by his prescience I tripped landing hard on the concrete. The rough cement tore mercilessly at my knees, elbow and palms. My energy drained I remain on the ground panting. He comes down beside me reaching to help me up. I instinctively recoiled curling into myself. He took in my expression and sat beside me waiting till I calmed. Surveying my hands I see speckles of blood appearing and feel hot liquid running down my arm. My knees were not much better. He looked at the abrasions offering me his shoulder.

"I live right across the street; let me help you get cleaned up." He puts a chivalrous hand under my arm and helps me up. We move to his house and I freeze.

"I'm fine." I whispered moving from his hold, but felt dizziness take over becoming woozy. He rolled his eyes catching me before I fell again.

"You are not fine. It's not a problem." He led me across a street to a simple house. I begin to tense up and he took notice. "So, how are your locks working out?" He changes the subject as he opened the door holding it for me. I remain motionless staring at the ground.

"You can come in?" He chuckles taking my hand in a gentle grasp. I nod stepping in feeling my stomach clench. A deep woof echoes throughout the house followed by the thundering of paws hitting the ground. The massive dog turns a corner going too fast and slipped on the floor. He spots us and charged tail wagging with enthusiasm. I took a step back feeling his hands on my back.

"You're not afraid of dogs are you?" He stepped in front of me blocking the animal's path. The dog skidded to a halt in front of him panting. He gave the dog's head a rub. The beast came to his hip and possessed the biggest paws I had ever seen.

"Dogs? Not at all. Cerberus' long lost kin, perhaps?" Coming around I smiled at the dog scratching his grey head. He gives my hand a lick which made me gag.

"Jas, no licking." He pushed the dog, Jas, away offering me his shirt wiping my hand on. "Come on, I have a first aid kit in my bathroom." He took my hand again pulling me through the house.

The house was full of books and smelt like cooking. A small living room had books and movies on a shelf and a cozy couch in the one corner was a pink table with a teacup set and in the other corner there was a cardboard box in the shape of a pirate ship. He notices me studying the room.

"My brother and I live here, but we watch my siblings a lot. You haven't even seen the best of it." We head up some stairs and my anxiety started again. He could be lying. He could be taking me up to hurt me. Please, don't hurt me.

I want you to understand how my brain works now. I used to be able to trust, but now I always expected the worse. You stole my ability to trust.

Jas followed me up the stairs and as if noticing my growing fear nuzzled my leg staying protectively close to me.

"Ha, he likes you. He only does that with people he knows needs extra attention." He opened a door leading to a simple bathroom. "You can wash up if you want." He took the first aid kit from under the sink opening it. Examining its content he frowns. "I'm out of band aids. I've got some extra down stairs."

He leaves me with Jas starting down the stairs. Looking to the dog, I take a nervous breath. Jas huffs and lays at the door watching me. I turn on the faucet splashing my face with cool water, using a rag I scrubbed the dried blood from my knees wincing at the sensation. The abrasions were red and angry as I cleaned them with rubbing alcohol. When I hissed in pain Jas gave a little whine scooting closer.

He came back up the stairs holding a few boxes of band aids. I rinsed the rag and wrung it out placing it in his hamper.

"So, would you like pirates, princesses, or green?" He placed the boxes on the counter with a calm smile stepping over Jas' large body.

"You pick." I look to my feet feeling uncomfortable in the small enclosed space seeing my exit blocked.

"Hm..." He looked over my scrapes. "Pirates for the right knee, green for the left and princess for the elbow." He motioned for me to sit on the tub.

I do so with hesitation he noticed.

"Hey, whatever you're afraid of, I promise I'm never going to hurt you. I just want to help." He placed a band aid on my knee. The pirate flag making me feel childish, but comforted. He adds the green on next and then adds the bright pink sparkly one on my elbow.

"Thank you." I murmur looking away. He rubs my hand and helps me up. We move out of the bathroom back downstairs.

"Do you want to hang out?" He perches himself on the kitchen counter when I hear someone else come through the door. My heart pounds in my chest.

A older guy comes in carrying some paper bags. He looks up to me confused and then to him. Jas, who had been settled on my feet gives a woof and happily runs to the guy jumping in excitement.

"Hey, who's your friend Jas?" The guy laughed setting down the bags and up to me offering a hand. I take it looking anywhere, but his eyes.

"This is my friend. She may stay here a little if she wants." He came up beside me for moral support. I smile looking down again.

"Oh, is this the girl you're always talking about?" The guy looked to his brother and I notice the striking resemblance.

"Really Jack?" He grumbled rolling his eyes.

Jas came between us pushing him away from me before coming up to me again. It was strange, but the dog seemed to be protecting me, sensing my distress. He sat close looking up kindly at me.

You are growing bored aren't you? I've always understood your attention span was never great. I shall spare you the formalities and get on. I stayed with him, relinquished the feeling of fear and relaxed. We stayed on their couch with Jas beside me. He gave me one of his one shirts because mine had a good bit of blood on it. It, like his hoodie smelt like him.

You had a distinctive smell as well like warm spice. I used to love that smell, but I must admit when I smell it now I cannot help, but to quiver. You are pleased by that aren't you? You thrived on it.

I am getting side tracked. Back to the events at hand.

I fell asleep you see. We had been watching movies with his brother and at some point I managed to sleep. It was like all the exhaustion from everything washed over me. I hadn't felt safe in such a long time. He didn't touch me and stayed on the opposite side of the couch; however at some point of the time I ended up on his chest with his hand wrapped protectively over my shoulder.

I didn't cringe or panic. He had this calming effect and seemed so brave. I knew I was safe from you. You wouldn't understand.

I was awoken by Jas who gave my face a wet lick and it dawned on me.

Late...

I was so late. Checking my watch it was 5:45

AM.

Panicking I jerked up grabbing my stuff waking him up as I did.

"What's wrong?" He rubbed sleep from his eyes reaching for me.

"I have to go." I laced my shoes heading to the door.

"Let me drive you at least?"

"No! You can't come."

I worried for him. You hated him, I knew you did. You would hurt him.

"You don't have to go. You can stay. I can help." He begged taking my hand.

"No. Promise you won't follow me."

"But,"

"Promise!" I pleaded.

"Cross my heart."

I nodded and ran out.

I debated telling you about this. I want your knowledge about him to be minimal, but you thought I loved him that night and it's true. I did love him; I will continue to love him. The best part is you can't control who I really love and I know it drives you crazy.


	7. This is Day Five

5:58.

I could actually do this. I was only 12 hours late... My lungs ached as I ran up the steps getting to your door. My breathing ragged as I watched the seconds on my watch tick. 4 3 2 1

I knock quietly the way you taught me and heaved deep breaths brushing my hair from my face realizing how rough I looked. It didn't matter, I was here.

The door opened with you glancing over my form. I bit my lip looking down.

"Technically, I'm not late. It is six and you never specified morning or night." My eyes grow wide as the words left my mouth. Why was I debating this? You nodded condescendingly causing me to get small. I wanted to be brave, but a single glare from you was enough to drain any drop of courage I had.

"No, I didn't my little lamb. You must feel proud of yourself." You motioned for me to enter. I walked in feeling your hand on the small of my back. I moved to go to your bedroom, but you turned leading me instead to a kitchen table. Pulling out a chair for me you order "Sit."

I obey crossing my arms over my chest shivering. You brought me a plate with eggs and toast along with your own. You join me pouring some tea into a cup beside me. I watched the actions trying figure out your motives. You began eating noting my watchful eyes.

"Eat."

I gingerly touch the toast before speaking,

"What are you doing?"

You looked up all innocent like what was going on was normal.

"Eating with my little lamb." You took a bite of egg gesturing for me to eat. I ignore it and push the plate away. "Fine, don't eat then. It is a little rude though."

I look down unfolding my arms placing my hands on the table. You continue eating and take my hand turning my palm up noticing the scratches.

"What happened love?" You acted kind and concerned, but it was all an act. I knew it had to be an act. I was nothing to you, but a plaything.

"I fell when I was running." I take my hand out of your grasp putting it in my lap.

"Are you alright lamb, you must be more careful?" You gasped mockingly causing my anger to flare.

"Oh, yes quite alright. My dear friend who assisted me with my locks allowed me to utilize his first aid skills." I gave a sweet smile glaring. I didn't care if it angered you; actually I wanted more than anything to get under your skin and when I see you grip your fork a little tighter I knew I had succeeded.

"Watch that, do watch that little lamb." Your eyes grew cold and body language changed. I smirked very satisfied with my victory.

We sit in silence while you continue eating the only sound being your fork scrapping the plate. I felt most of my fear changing to adrenaline. I felt antsy just sitting. I wanted a book or something, anything, but I refused to show I was uncomfortable. You finished taking your plate to the sink and then come over to the table in front of my chair.

"You were with him last night." It wasn't a question, you grab my shirt pulling me to my feet. I feel rage bubble in my stomach.

"What are you getting at?" I demanded matching your height and holding eye contact. It was scary, but I could do. I had to do it.

"You are testing my patiences today." You drug me towards your room. I stop moving.

"I'm not going in there." I snap making myself heavy. You turned looking me up and down.

"Very well." Without warning you tackled me to the ground pinning me. I kicked thrashing about and howl in anger. You placed your hand over my mouth using your weight to render me immobile. You move to my ear whispering:

"Shut your sodding rot. I'm growing quite tired from your tone and think its time you remember you proper place my malenky cunt." You grabbed my throat squeezing. I used my free hand and slap you as hard as possible. You released my neck, but keep me pinned working off my shorts. Your mouth attacks my own smothering me. You grope over my breast squeezing too hard and bruising them. I cry out twisting under you and clawing your skin. You yank me to my feet pulling me by my long pony tail towards your room.

"Why?" I whimper losing my strength both inner and physical. You yanked my hair forcing my head to look up.

"Stop talking." You growled throwing me against your door. I cough sinking to the ground huddling into myself like a scared child.

"There's my little lamb." You teased pulling me up as if I was as weightless as a rag doll. I stayed heavy, but you were so strong. You scooped me up throwing me on your bed. I curled up in the fetal position trembling knowing what was coming.

You tugged my legs apart touching my crotch through my panties.

"My my my, the little lamb got herself all excited last nochy didn't she." Your tone was snide, disgusted. Moving away from me you go to retrieve your cane. I scoot up on the bed trying to put as much distance between me and it as physically possible. You grabbed my ankle jerking me back to you and hold me still pressing the handle against my sex hard. I cry out in pain as you pushed it harder. You press it into me letting my moisture seep through the fabric.

"Get up." You growl releasing me.

I stumbled to my feet. You shove me onto the wall causing the pictures on the walls the rattle. I closed my eyes biting my lips. You pressed my chest with your cane forcing my back against the wall. Your nails dig into my hips scratching as your hand goes into my panties stroking me.

"He got you soaking wet." You observe yanking out and holding up your fingers to my face. You wiped them on my cheek and shake your head in anger. I grimace feeling cool air hit my skin. "Naughty lamb." You turned the handle of the cane pulling out your knife. Then I realized you were jealous. So incredibly jealous someone else had my attention and affection and you were livid at the thought of someone else touching me.

You pressed the blade on my cheek throwing the cane across the room. It landed with a great crash. Tugging my hair you forced my neck up. The tip travels down my face to my jaw. You let it drag in a lazy fashion relishing the way I recoiled from it squeezing my eyes shut. It traces a slow line across my neck the coolness of the metal keeping me still. The cool blade gets to the collar of my shirt pausing. I opened my eyes hopeful you had finished the cruel game and were satisfied. You glare at the shirt gripping it tight. It dawns on me I still wore his shirt. You make a small cut before tearing it down the front violently. The sound of the ripping fabric was deafening in the small room. You dragged me to the bed slamming me down by the throat.

"Now viddy here devotchka, I haven't the slightest idea where your rebellion is coming from, but let's get things nice and sparkling clear right right?" You press the knife on my shoulder nicking my skin. I yelp gasping, out of instinct I push your chest. You dig the blade deeper.

I dropped my hands panting in fear.

"Dobby malenky lamb." You moved the blade letting me up. I stayed down trembling touching the cut feeling warm blood seeping through my fingers. I felt woozy, but managed to stand. It wasn't bad. If I kept telling myself that maybe I wouldn't panic.

"Come here"

I looked up to you in only my sports bra and panties walking over. You trace a hand over my arm watching as I shudder. You place soft kisses on my shoulder where you cut me, your fingers massaging my breast through the sports bra.

"Take this off so I can see my lamb's lovely groodies." You popped the strap and continued the affections on my neck.

"I'm not your lamb." I hissed in frustration. I didn't want this, I hated it. Hated your kisses, hated your hands, hated it all.

You sigh and before I can dodge it you back hand me so hard I'm knocked off balance. You slam me face down on your mattress tugging down my panties and I could hear your zipper.

"No!" I cry trying in vain to scoot away. You slap my bottom harder than ever and I could feel the hand print forming.

It hurt so much worse. Even with the sticky disgusting gel you used I had never felt something so intrusive and... Horrible. I had to bite the mattress to stifle my screams. You rutted into me in a jerky pace.

"You brought this on yourself little sister." You growled pushing further. I could feel the blood trickling down.

It went on much longer and hurt. Oh, it hurt so terribly.

"A tight ass you have my love." You groaned as your nails dug into my hips rocking me onto you. I let out a whimper much to my discontent. I mutter into the fabric.

"What was that love?" You go slower pulling all the out teasing and forcing yourself back in.

I say it louder into the fabric. You spread my legs further pushing three digits into me.

"Loud enough for Uncle Alex to hear you dear."

When I don't respond you give a particularly sharp thrust causing me to cry out in agony.

"I'M SORRY!" I screamed reaching up to the head board trying to pull myself away, but your tight grasp on my hips prevented any movement. My elbows collapse leaving me face down once more. You quicken your pace pressing my face down into the bed. I could feel your 'yarbles' as you called them against my skin as you rammed yourself deeper and deeper.

"Please, Alex! Please!" I begged. I hadn't done that yet and you realize it too. You continue the pace, but start stroking my back almost lovingly.

"Tell me you're my malenky cunt." You allow me to rest on my elbows once more.

Pride no longer mattered I just needed you to stop.

"I'm your little cunt Alex." It tasted like poison, but you added more of the goo which lessens the pain just slightly.

It went on like that with me repeating filthy words back you. The thrust were shallow now and I was exhausted.

"Tell me you love me."

I begin, but froze shutting my mouth. Your hand stops on my back. I couldn't get the words to come out. You pulled out and flipped me over. Your blue eyes studied my tear stained face. Despite all my best efforts I couldn't hold those ones back.

"Well?" You push my bra up revealing my breast. I stared up at the ceiling unable to say what you desired.

"Get on with it then." I declared weakly detaching myself from what you would do next.

You stroked my face kissing my nose and ram yourself into my core. I grimace, but at least it didn't hurt quite as much.

"What an interessovating devotchka you are."

**HI!**

**I'm really, really sorry the updates on everything got messed up. I've been sick for the pass month-ish and had zero desire to write, or move for that matter. I better though and ready to continue. Mockingbirds will get updated soon I promise. Baby steps.**

**Demon Barber: Thank you for noticing his ambiguous behavior! I wasn't sure if that was translating right. I want to keep the audience unclear of his intentions. I feel the protagonist is also at a loss for what he actually wants. **

**TheWeasleysBoys: No, I had that chapter solely to show how manipulative he can be. He strives on control and by making her feel pleasure is yet another way to dominate her. **

**Weewuns: HI! Can't remember if I've already greeted you or not, but HI! I may start to explore ****Stockholm Syndrome because it is something I feel is not addressed enough in ACO writing (or at least in a precise way), but I haven't decided. Thanks for the review.**

**Alrightly.**

**BYE**

**Hazel **


	8. Come Away

You cracked something that day. You were able to chip away at the walls I built separating me from you. I went back to my room and sat on my floor crying those real hard sobs your body saves for when you nothing else to do. It dawned on me this was the first time I cried over my situation. My body shook as I shrieked and wailed feeling utterly defeated.

I hurt. Everything just hurt.

My soul.

My body.

My entire being felt tainted.

Time passed and I stayed in a haze. They called, asked if I needed anything. I said I was fine. Told them to leave me alone. Told them to stay away. They obeyed.

When I could actually move without pain surging through me I tied my shoes and ran. I knew where I was going. I knew the risk of going, knew you would make me pay, but I wanted him. So, I ran.

Arriving at the door I banged on the door twice hearing a bit of ruckus outside the door followed by a few woofs from Jas. The door cracked open and a little head peaks out. He smiled wearing a pirate patch and a hook on his left hand. It took me off guard and I had to step back. Finally he came to my rescue opening the door all the way carrying a small child in his arms.

"Are you friend or foe?" The boy demanded raising his hook. I bend to his level and consider.

"A humble passerby, Captain Hook." He smiles at us as the boy takes in my words.

"Can you tell stories?" The little one in his arms peaked at me with sleepy eyes.

I nod and Captain Hook grinned tugging my sleeve.

"Then you can be our Wendy!" The boy announced pulling me inside. He gives me a smile and mouths 'Sorry'

I shrug and let Captain Hook take me to the living room where I see a teddy bear tied to a chair and Jack who had two other pirates holding them hostage with a sword. The two other boys had big coats on and paper hats resembling pirate hats. He put down the littlest one who took my hand pulling me to the princess table.

"Do you want Pixie dust?" She held up a bottle and I notice her hair and face is shimmery with pink sparkles. She takes off my headband and sprinkles some on my hair placing a paper flower in it. She frowns at my clothes. "You don't look much like a Wendy. Wait!" She ran to the kitchen and brought back a pale blue frilly apron.

The two other boys run up to me with swords drawn. Jack laughs as I make a dramatic curtsy as I tie the apron around my waist. The little girl joined them taking her sword.

"Who be thee?" The one in the middle demands. He comes to my aid smiling and wearing what appeared to be a Peter Pan hat.

"She will never fall for the likes of you! She is a Wendy!" He draws his dagger.

I turned and face him standing with the children.

"And who says I would be joining you? A life of piracy does sound rather lovely." I looked to the little boy bending to his level. "What is to be my name if I join you?"

They all huddle excluding me. Jack chuckles from his spot and nods at me freezing when Hook threatens him. Jas. comes beside me wearing a bonnet.

"Nana? However did you get here?" Jas. huffs and licks me.

"Hook's role got filled before Jas. could audition." He explains taking my hand and pulling me close "Are you okay?"

The little ones came up again offering me a sword.

"You shall be Lady Cutthroat." They all announce bowing.

I considered the name nodding.

"And if I join you?"

He smiled getting on one knee.

"You shall be my Wendy Lady and I shall protect you from any and all of the nasty pirates which haunt your dreams." He held my hand kissing it.

My stomach clenches, but not the way it did when you touched me. Pleasant warmth spread through my body and it felt as if most of the pain went away. Not all, it will never be all gone, but when he spoke to me it faded and I didn't have to dwell on it.

We played for hours. It was wonderful because for just a little while I didn't have to be me. I was Wendy and he my Peter. I understand this must all be very nauseating for you, but let's face after all you put me through humor me for a few more moments.

During lunch the littlest boy noticed some of my bruises, particularly the one you had left on my arm, you grabbed it when I tried to get away and left your handprint behind. Ribbons of purple and blue laced around my wrist like a reminder I could not escape.

Jack shushed the boy telling him it wasn't polite, but I shook my head. The fantasy I was living in crumbled and I remembered the life I currently led. The little boy plopped himself out of his chair and took my arm turning it to see the bruises. He studied them until finally looking up to me whispering

"Next time the pirate hurts you called him a stinky codfish!"

The idea of calling you a codfish made me chuckle. He helps himself into my lap tracing the bruise and playing with my bracelets. We sat eating the rest of our lunches and he remained in my lap bouncing and asking lots of questions. It felt strange, but I must admit I kind of liked it. He wasn't burdened by the world. None of them were. I envied that most.

My day was filled with laughter. Being able to let go was beyond odd. I felt your touch linger reminding me I was tainted, but whenever my mind went there he would see it and take my hand taking us on another adventure telling me

"Don't dwell Wendy Lady." He smiled and we sword fought the little ones with the help of Jas. as Jack led them to other rooms hiding waiting to attack.

Before the children go to bed the girl tugged my sleeve.

"Are you going to stay?" She and the rest of the boys surrounded me pleading.

Jack and he smiled. I felt my stomach lurch at the prospect of you hurting me again, but I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay here forever and never leave.

"We have a guest room. The little monsters usually share the pull out bed in here." Jack offered picking up the littlest boy.

I stuttered a few excuses looking at my feet. You would hurt me if I stayed, but then again you would hurt me regardless. The inner turmoil was eating at me as I tried to weigh the pros and cons, but there he was coming to my rescue.

"Whatever it is. We'll keep you safe tonight."

I smiled biting my lip before nodding. The little ones grinned letting out Indian whoops. Jack lead them to bed tucking them in and he came over checking under the bed for any hidden monsters. If only it was that easy to protect yourself from monsters. You were not so easily defeated or found. You lurched behind corners and corrupted the innocence I once possessed when viewing the world.

He took my hand leading me upstairs to the guest room offering me an old sweatshirt to sleep in. Before he left he came and sat on the bed.

"The 'Nasty Pirate', do you need our help?"

I freeze feeling my stomach clench. I wrap my arms over my chest shaking my head. He came over patting my shoulder pulling me into a hug and I felt tears burn my eyes as I clung to him.

"It'll be okay Wendy Lady."

"Promise Peter?"

He nodded giving me a warm smile and pats my shoulder before leaving me.

Yanking off my top I see the bruises and bite marks scattering my torso, but the shirt hides them, not healing them, but keeping them out of view. Out of sight, out of mind.

You weren't going to find tonight and I slept in piece knowing I could stay safe if only for a night.

**Hi….**

**So, I really REALLY like Peter Pan, Neverland, Pirates, anything to do with Peter Pan. I have wanted to do a character relating to him for a while and felt Green Loving Boy was perfect for the role.**

**I do not own Peter Pan. **

**TheLovelyJudy: Aw… Thanks. Sorry about the needing to hug a plush kitten though…. oops?**

**Lady President Romana: HI! Thanks for reviewing. Brilliant? Well, my ego just went up by 80% XD. Alex is a bit of a meanie butt.**

**Demonbarber14: You're right. Somehow I don't see Alex taking too kindly to Mr. Green Loving boy.**

**TheWeasleysBoys: Who doesn't want to slap Alex silly at one point or the other? She will always fight, but at the same time I think she tries to figure out what battles are worth fighting and what will get her hurt more.**


	9. This is Day Six

Have you ever eaten chocolate chip pancakes? Real chocolate chip pancakes where the pancake to chocolate ratio is beyond calculation because you have now made a glob of pudding. Me either. Or at least not until that morning.

Surely you have realized I haven't ever made connections with peers. I stayed to myself and had always been content with the life I lived. I never thought I was missing out.

Yet, as I sat at the table eating I understood what I was really missing.

I cannot begin to explain how much the breakfast meant to me and you will never understand it so I suppose we should just move on?

All good things must end, I knew I would have to return back to my hell reality. He promised I could stay, promised I would be safer and all of it is true; however, I couldn't risk it. So, I left.

Each step felt heavy and each step drug on as I approached my destination. My heart faltered as I drew closer so much so I considered his offer. Maybe I could run? I could run far enough, somewhere you could never find? Somehow I knew that wasn't possible or at least not yet.

No, I would continue this purgatory for a sin I never committed.

Why I heeded to you threats and demands I am still unsure. Most assume it is fear, but honestly I do not fear you. Not in the traditional sense that is. Of course I became uneasy knowing you would hurt me, but it was not you I feared. It was the pain you could inflict without penitence of any form. There were those times where you would hold me and kiss my neck calling me your "little lamb". You would tell me of my beauty and asked if I would share it with you to which I never responded for I knew, I knew your words were nothing and yet, sometimes I felt an inkling you actually cared. It seemed as if you loved me in those rare moments. Those were the moments I feared.

I stepped into the lobby ignoring the repulsive artwork and head up the staircase to my flat. I didn't move in fear anymore. If you wanted me you would find me and there was no hiding really. You did find me of course as I unlocked my door. Pulling it closed before I could enter you crossed your arms giving me a scowl.

"Wherever was the little lamb last nochy?" You take my arm squeezing tighter than what would be considered sincere. I shrugged scooting you out of my way opening the door only to have you close it once more. "I came to check on my lovely and she was nowhere in sight. I began to worry she might have like been offended or something."

"I was out. It was nothing. Please move." I wormed my way around your arm opening the door and ducked under you slipping inside. You entered behind me closing the door. I turned to speak, but decided against it. I moved into my room not bothering closing the door, you would only open it anyways. You sit on my bed watching as I take clothes out of my dresser.

"I feel it may have been something." You stand trapping me between your arms.

"I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation." I snipped far too snarky for my own good. You smiled pushing hair out of my face.

"Sarky lamb, have you forgotten your last lesson so soon?" You yanked my body to the bed tossing me down. I struggle to sit up being forced back down. You run your fingers through my hair kissing down my neck. I struggled under your weight with no success. You moved me on my stomach tugging off my pants. I locked my knees scratching at your hands twisting. You push me face down and I freeze in terror.

"Please! No... Please, please please. I'll be good. Please don't do it again please..." I pleaded desperate to avoid the pain.

"Oh, what was that little lamb?" You yank my panties snapping the thin elastic. It popped on my thigh making me wince. I froze feeling your index finger trace down my back.

"Please..." I whispered lying motionless. Flipping me over you stared into my face as I shuddered.

"You'll be dobby? Do everything I want?"

I nodded hastily covering my skin when you freed my hands.

"What if what I want is to take your real savage like? Make you scream to holy Bog and the high heavens? Will you still be a dobby lamb?" Your nails dug into my hips gripping my skin.

I gasped, but forced myself to nod. It would be over soon. You will grow bored. I can do this.

"Kiss me." Your fingers stroke my cheek. I open my eyes and lean up placing a chaste kiss on your lips shivering at the sensation. You bit my bottom lip tugging. I winced curling my hands in the blankets feeling your hands take my own and placed them on your back. You kissed on neck sucking hard on sensitive skin. I stay motionless and you noticed.

"Sit up love and let's rid of our troublesome clothes right right?" You tugged my arms and pulled me to a sitting position. Your soft hands trailed under my shirt allowing the material to creep above my waist tickling my skin. Slipping the top off you reached behind unclasping my bra removing it from me smiling.

"So beautiful." You muttered unbuttoning your white shirt and slipping off your suspenders. You weren't muscular like he was, but you were not weak by any means. Unbuckling your pants I closed my eyes looking away.

5-6-8-9

23-42-17-9

Your hand cupped my chin forcing me out of my mind. Opening my eyes I see your crystal blue eyes staring back. Still watching me you took behind my neck kissing me, lowering my body to the bed. You spread my legs softly waiting for me to part them. You kissed down to my pelvis and then lower causing me to gasp and try to move away. You held me still though and kissed again prodding your tongue letting it explore its new territory. Even though you had raped me countless times I was still rather inexperienced and over sensitive to your touch. The feeling made me grip at the sheets again. You look up giving me a devilish smirk. Your tongue was hot on me as it traveled sucking hard on that one spot which caused my body to fail me.

"No." I whispered breathily feeling my hips lift to meet your mouth.

23

42

17

9

You continued to the point where I writhed under your grasped. I dug my nails into my arms refusing to make a sound. I hated the way my body betrayed me. Hated how I wanted you to continue.

You pulled away moving above me studying my face. I look to you, body ringing from your touch. Placing a tender kiss on my forehead you straddle my torso watching me.

"You're so quiet lamb. Other pistas creech and howl, but you, you stay all quiet like and take it real horrorshow. I can watch your pretty malenky listo as I plungey plunge plunge."

I remained silent taking a deep breath looking passed you to my ceiling. If I let my eyes go out of focus I could make shapes out of the stucco plaster.

You thrust into my body causing me to let out a soundless plea. I bit my lip holding your arm hard letting my nails dig into your flesh, closing my eyes praying it wouldn't be too bad.

"Open those lovely glazzies." You barked cupping my face as you placed light kisses down my throat pushing forward far enough to make me jerk up in response.

It was awful this way. It was awful because it didn't hurt and I couldn't control how your actions caused my body to react.

Suckling my skin you hummed against my neck.

"Beautiful, beautiful devotchka."

You continued and I stayed still as you forced yourself upon me going on until I moaned.

"Alex. Please. I'm so tired." I mumbled miserably as you kept going.

It hurt, it stung, it felt like heaven at times, and I couldn't stand it.

"Now now, we aren't done fillying little sister. Not until I have you calling to your holy Bog in bliss."

It's quicker now and so much harder. Our breathing heavy, choppy as each movement is executed. I struggled to move, needing something that I did not understand. You did though, in one swish movement you switched our positions and I was looking down at you as your hands guided my hips. I paused nervously unsure. You grind my hips lifting your legs filling my body with a new sensation. I let out a quiet sigh and moved in tandem with your thrust.

It felt amazing. I was in control. I decided how fast we went and for how long you were inside. I lifted myself all the way up letting you suffer the lost. Relishing at the pained face you made. I was in control. You take my hips forcing me back down not letting go again.

Everything became

Harder.

Faster.

Wetter.

I felt the familiar feeling teasing me, wanting to break free, but I begged it not to come. Yet, every time you hit that place my body screamed in pleasure.

"No.." I whispered over and over trying to move, trying to break away and run.

You played with my body forcing me to make choked sounds of bliss.

"Cum." You demanded.

I want to say that I didn't, want to say I was better than that, but I wasn't.

I rode your body harder relishing in the sensation. You followed holding my torso pushing me closer. Animalistic groans and growls leaving your mouth as you finished. My face flushed and humiliated I moved off of you ignoring the way you grabbed at me.

"You got what you wanted now go." I hissed motioning to the door.

You sat up with a smirk stretching as you stood. Coming to me you smile before back handing my cheek with enough force to make my eyes water.

"What gives you the slightest idea you get to tell me what I can or cannot do?" You growled viciously shoving me against the door.

I shake my head chuckling at the question.

"You are nothing, but a codfish." Ducking under you arm I take my clothes and move to my bathroom slamming the door.

I heard you laughing as you moved to the door opening it and I throw on my bra and underwear. Leaning against the door frame you cross your arms watching my every move.

"I have taken quite a liking to you my little lamb."

I sighed rolling my eyes muttering something to the extent of "Oh boy!"

"You aren't like th-"

"Other girls you've raped?" I cut you off slipping on my sweater and jeans. I pushed my way around you again pulling my hair into a simple braid.

"I don't appreciate this sarky tone you've adopted." You follow wrapping your arms around my waist tugging me to you. "I've been real horrorshow darling and here you come all harsh like and it puts a bit of pain in my gulliver you see." Hot kisses hit my neck causing me to flinch.

"What do you want from me?" I demand turning in your arms to face you.

Beautiful cool eyes embrace me with hints of malice and the need for control. They mock me in a way no others could. They had seen more of me than anyone ever had. Were able to crack me open and taint every inch of my soul. They also made me stronger. The eyes which once haunted my dreams were mere voids of azure. These eyes also had a touch of passion as you stared at me. It never lasted long, but I could see it briefly flicker as you held me close. You wanted something from me.

"Everything." You smirked.

**HI!**

**I'm sorry I got behind… again…. I told myself I'm not allowed to update again until I write the next chapter to Mockingbirds. That is currently in the works.**

**Thank you Demonbarber and TheWeasleyBoys for the kind reviews.**

**HAVE A DAY AS AMAZING AS YOU ARE!**


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